So if you’ve read my previous blog you’ll know that this was a planned pregnancy so it wasn’t a complete shock to discover those ‘two lines’.
We had began trying for a baby in October 2015 and using my ‘Period tracker’ app on my phone I knew when my next period would be due. Rather than waste money and time taking tests I thought I might as well wait to see if my period came, the old fashioned way. It also felt like doing tests would maybe jinx it and put an added pressure which wasn’t needed.
My period was due on the 12th November which oddly enough coincided with a funeral. I remember waking up and thinking I can’t possibly do a test today because to discover I was pregnant the morning before a family members funeral is far too much emotion for a cold November Thursday. To my dismay when I woke I found blood in my early morning wee so I thought straight away ‘Oh well!, that’s that; maybe next month?’ I did what every woman would do and sorted out my sanitary pads, wore my comfy granny knickers and carried on with day. I felt period-like to be honest, bloated, heavy and head-achy so everything felt relatively normal for a first day period. However….each time I went to the toilet there was hardly any blood at all. Strange? I won’t obviously go into too much detail but this isn’t normal for me, I’d usually have a steady, rather heavy flow for at least the first two days of a period…what was going on?!
Anyway funeral ended and I returned home, I mentioned this strange bleeding to my husband but he didn’t seem to pay much attention, I think he thought I was trying to force this situation into being something it really wasn’t. I left it until the next day, my morning wee after a nights sleep would definitely be the real test. Sure enough I woke to discover only the tiniest spotting of blood and I mean tiny. What does this mean?!
I dwell on this the whole time I’m in the shower, wondering why this period is very unusual as I’ve been regular as clockwork since coming off the pill last October. If you know me then you’ll know I literally Google everything, if there’s something I’m unsure of or need to know I will do my best to find out the answer. Googled ‘light period’, ‘spotting on my due date’, ‘Can you have spotting whilst pregnant?’. Something that kept coming up when searching was IMPLANATION BLEEDING. This is basically when the fertilised egg embeds itself in the wall of your womb, causing a little bleeding. If you’re fairly regular it will often occur around the time your period is due. Apparently up to a third of women experience this and can sometimes dismiss it as an irregular period thus not realising they were pregnant within the first 4 weeks. Obviously as we were trying for a baby I couldn’t dismiss this irregularity at all.
I went straight to the bathroom cupboard and ripped open the pregnancy test. I had to be sure what was going on and I needed to know asap. Trouble is it’s a Friday morning and all this googling malarkey has already made be late for work. Plus you’re supposed to do the test with your first wee of the day as this contains the most hormones. SOD IT! I tried to wee as much as I could, put the test to one side, threw some clothes on, whacked make-up on and tied my hair up. Right surely it’s time to look at the stick now?
….And there it was. Two lines! A very faint line but definitely a line. Oh my god!
My first reaction was: Excited! but the way in which I found out wasn’t the most thrilling or beautiful if I’m honest. I looked a mess, was late for work and totally on my own.I carried the test in my coat pocket whilst running to work (obviously after I put the lid back on) I couldn’t focus at work all morning. Emails were blurry and my mind kept drifting and googling faint lines on pregnancy test. For some reason I went into denial. I had to know for sure and that cheap Boots-own test with a forced trickle of wee just wasn’t convincing enough.
The clock struck 1pm and I rushed out on my lunch to buy a real test. First response £7.99 is was! Absolute rip-off but it’s money well spent if it can give me the truth. Picked up some chocolate whilst I was there to calm my nerves and a drink to make sure I had plenty of wee to do this test correctly. I ran back to the office and straight to the toilet. Sat there with my knickers down staring at the stick. What has my life become? If there any part of me wondering if I was mentally ready for a baby then this moment proved I was. I watched the line appear and get darker and darker. My eyes filled with tears and couldn’t stop smiling (I’m still sat on the loo at this point by the way). I’M PREGNANT!
SO WHAT NEXT?
I returned back to my desk and went on a simple website that determined the rough due date and how many weeks I’d been pregnant. Because I knew my last period dates it was fairly accurate in telling me I was roughly 3 weeks gone and the due date would be the end of July 2016. Of course I was very early at this stage and researched on the NHS website what I should do next. This suggested that I book an appointment with my doctor to begin my antenatal care and to confirm the pregnancy.
(I had this appointment a week later at five weeks; it was totally pointless and didn’t need to go. This may have been useful had I been concerned or looking to possibly terminate but for me it wasn’t needed. I was shocked that the doctor didn’t even want to do their own pregnancy test, she was completely happy with taking my word for it. Very odd! For any new mum reading this the first appointment you need to attend is the Booking appointment which is when you’re about eight weeks pregnant anything before this is a waste of time in my opinion.)
After booking the doctors appointment that afternoon the next thing to do was tell my husband. Luckily we’d already planned Date Night that evening so I didn’t need to force any romantic setting. I met him off the train and we talked normal nonsense and crap like we always do but I couldn’t even make it to the restaurant. I couldn’t help myself, I felt like I was going to burst! I said it was a good job we’d booked in our date night as we needed to celebrate but said that I wouldn’t be drinking. He knew. He stopped, turned to me and just smiled. I’ll never forget the day we found out we were expecting and I’ll always remember how lucky and overjoyed we felt. Your life as a parent doesn’t begin when your baby is born it’s from that very moment you conceive and discover that a little miracle is growing and that your life will never be the same again.